{"id":806,"date":"2026-05-23T12:30:14","date_gmt":"2026-05-23T12:30:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/california-relocation-journal.com\/?p=806"},"modified":"2026-05-23T12:30:14","modified_gmt":"2026-05-23T12:30:14","slug":"spencer-pratt-please-call-me-you-dont-know-what-youre-getting-yourself-into","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/california-relocation-journal.com\/?p=806","title":{"rendered":"Spencer Pratt, please call me. You don\u2019t know what you\u2019re getting yourself into"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Spencer Pratt, please give me a call.<\/p>\n

We should talk.<\/p>\n

You say you want to be mayor of Los Angeles, but do you really?<\/p>\n

I know that being a candidate has rescued you from anonymity after your career in reality TV<\/u> went off a cliff. You\u2019ve got CEOs backing you, and fans raving, and you\u2019ve managed to milk social media attention.<\/p>\n

Read more Inspired by Jane Goodall, students build nurseries to reforest L.A.\u2019s fire-scorched communities<\/a><\/p>\n

But at some point you might have to answer questions from the reporters you\u2019ve been avoiding.<\/p>\n

And if you win, you\u2019re going to have to drive to City Hall five, six, seven days a week, and I don\u2019t know if you saw my column a few weeks ago, but the fountain on the south lawn hasn\u2019t worked in about 60 years. If you get elected, you better put a wrench in your lunch box, because nobody has figured out how to fix it.<\/p>\n

So that\u2019s the reality, pretty much. And the unions will want what they want, and the socialists on the City Council will be lying in wait, especially after President Trump blew you a cross-country air kiss and certified your MAGA credentials.<\/p>\n

More than 30,000 people are waiting for their broken sidewalks to get fixed (I\u2019m not exaggerating) but there\u2019s no money, and if you hire several thousand more police officers as you\u2019ve pledged, the city would be bankrupt for the next decade or so and you\u2019d need to take out a loan to buy a doughnut.<\/p>\n

So call me, like I say, because I think there\u2019s still time to change your mind.<\/p>\n

If you choose to proceed, and if you actually win, it might feel like you\u2019re in a sequel to that reality show you did called \u201cI\u2019m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here,\u201d and you may end up praying the show gets canceled. The mayor\u2019s hours are long, and everywhere you go, someone will want you to fix this problem or that, and as you wander the halls of power you\u2019ll think back on your campaign pledges and hear the constant echo of a line from H.L. Mencken:<\/p>\n

\u201cFor every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

Can I confess something?<\/p>\n

I\u2019m feeling guilty about all of this.<\/p>\n

Not to sound presumptuous, but I feel partly responsible for the fact that you\u2019re in contention for the job.<\/p>\n

Like you, I\u2019ve been calling out issues with the management of L.A.,<\/u> and I\u2019ve been doing it for years. But I had the good sense not to run for mayor.<\/p>\n

Why\u2019s that?<\/p>\n

Because unlike you, I know the fixes aren\u2019t as easy as we\u2019d like them to be.<\/p>\n

When Karen Bass was running the first time, I had a long talk with her about her homelessness plan, among other things. At the end of the day, she asked for my input.<\/p>\n

I reminded her that as much as people would like for the city\u2019s top elected official to immediately clear the streets, a mayor is limited by shared power with the City Council.<\/p>\n

By drug epidemics and untreated mental illness that are largely under county authority. <\/p>\n

By uncertain funding from the nation\u2019s capital. <\/p>\n

By global forces that transformed the economy and created staggering levels of inequality that are made all the worse by the high cost of housing.<\/p>\n

Bass was aware of all that, but said that having worked in Sacramento and D.C., and having built relationships with county supervisors, she\u2019d be able to build better systems and get better outcomes.<\/p>\n

Read more Some experts say they\u2019ve never seen bees swarm so early \u2014 and that\u2019s concerning<\/a><\/p>\n

So how has she done?<\/p>\n

Not great. And then there\u2019s the fire.<\/p>\n

As I\u2019ve said before, leaving the country despite forecasts of elevated wildfire risk was probably the worst mistake of her political career. <\/p>\n

I don\u2019t need to remind you of that. Having lost your house in the Palisades, you know that Bass badly underreacted, then stumbled on the rebuilding, and then had a hand in downplaying the Fire Department\u2019s failure to adequately deploy and extinguish the fire that became an inferno.<\/p>\n

To summarize, she\u2019s left herself wide open to a challenge.<\/p>\n

And she probably can\u2019t believe how lucky she is that you might be her November competition, if the two of you bounce out Councilmember Nithya Raman and the other candidates in the June 2 primary.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t hold it against you that you haven\u2019t worked in government or politics before. These days, a lot of voters prefer outsiders. But it might have helped if you\u2019d done something of purpose at some point in your life, like run a successful business or volunteer at a food bank. Were you junior high class president, or were you in the Boy Scouts? Anything could help.<\/p>\n

Not that being the boyfriend and later the husband of someone on an MTV reality show called \u201cThe Hills,\u201d which chronicled the work of a woman who went from \u201cLaguna Beach: The Real Orange County\u201d to an internship at Teen Vogue, can\u2019t prepare a young man for statesmanship. <\/p>\n

In this culture, you could ride that all the way to the White House.<\/p>\n

But the flimsy resume could explain, Spencer, why you\u2019ve been taking so many social media-fueled potshots at Bass without offering anything of substance.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s arrest drug zombies.<\/p>\n

OK, then what?<\/p>\n

I\u2019d advise you to study the primer by my colleagues Doug Smith and Andrew Khouri on what you can and can\u2019t do about homelessness as a mayor in L.A. Clearly, you\u2019ve got a lot of boning up to do. In fact, I\u2019m reminded of a line by a Philadelphia columnist years ago, when he said of a politician who wasn\u2019t up to the job: He\u2019s been standing in shallow water for so long, he doesn\u2019t realize he can\u2019t swim.<\/p>\n

If I were you, I\u2019d consider the fact that President Trump made the mistake of promising easy fixes. He was going to deliver a massive infrastructure program. He was going to deliver healthcare reform that was better and cheaper for everyone. He was going to lower consumer prices on Day One, and here we are, with millions of people wondering how they\u2019re going to pay their bills while Trump rigs it so he doesn\u2019t have to pay the IRS.<\/p>\n

All that being said, I\u2019m glad you decided to run, because elected officials need constant reminders that their jobs are not secure, even when the challengers are way in over their heads. I\u2019d almost like to see you win, because that\u2019s one reality show I\u2019d be sure to watch.<\/p>\n

And I say this despite the fact that you once told your talk show buddy Alex Jones \u2014 who insisted that 9\/11 was an inside job and that the Sandy Hook massacre of 20 children was a hoax \u2014 that melting ice caps are overrated. Or, as you explained it to Jones,<\/u> \u201cwe\u2019ve all seen footage of the polar bears swimming to new pieces of ice.\u201d<\/p>\n

When the general election rolls around, and the ice begins to break, will you know how to swim?<\/p>\n

Read more Leaked files, \u2018nuclear verdicts,\u2019 bruising attacks: Inside the L.A. city attorney race<\/a><\/p>\n

steve.lopez@latimes.com<\/i><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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